


Needs

by KayomiKitten



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Freddie Mercury Is a Good Friend, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this instead of confronting my own feelings, I’m not projecting you’re projecting, No Beta, Self Harm, Short, The Author Regrets Everything, badly written just saying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 08:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27468217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayomiKitten/pseuds/KayomiKitten
Summary: Roger falls back into an unhealthy habit, Freddie helps him out.
Relationships: Freddie Mercury & Roger Taylor
Comments: 9
Kudos: 29





	Needs

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. 
> 
> I wrote this because my mental health was in the shitter(it still is tbh) and I was having the strong urge to do bad things let’s just say. Essentially it was me or Roger so sorry Roger. I’m not really feeling better, but I’m prepared to distract myself for the rest of the night. 
> 
> Anyway, I hate this. If you are familiar with my work that is something you’ve heard countless times before. I pretty much think everything I write is garbage and especially when my mental health isn’t good, so have fun trying to get through this.
> 
> I’m really not expecting anyone to read this or enjoy it but people always surprise me with their kind words and support on here. So maybe people will idk. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m in a bad mood, I promise I’m not trying to take it out on any of you. 
> 
> Anyway, love yall. Enjoy my garbage, see ya later. 
> 
> Ps. you’re waiting on the next chapter of Now I’m Here, bitch me too. Tell that to my unhelpful brain. I am working on it though, I promise.

Why did Roger do this? 

Truth be told, there were many reasons to pick and choose from. Sometimes more than one reason is applicable depending on the context. 

Sometimes he felt guilty, whether he’d done something or not. It could be that he made a mistake and hurt someone he cared for, or it could be the self hatred swirling inside of him making him feel like he’d done wrong simply by existing and that some suffering was deserved. 

Other times, he was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by pain, or anxiety, or stress or anger, but overwhelmed nevertheless. His emotions bubbling up and boiling over, feeling so much that he can’t possibly keep it inside, this giving him a way to take it out on himself and not hurt anyone else. 

Then there were times like this, where he couldn’t quite pinpoint why. Perhaps it was some combination of the reasons listed above, perhaps it wasn’t anything like that. He supposed the why didn’t matter, the results were the same. 

Whatever the reason, Roger had excused himself to the bathroom when he felt that familiar pulling on his mind. Like some unseen force trying to divert his attention away from logic. Telling him that hurting himself was a good thing, and essential thing, that this was something he wanted and needed. 

And, inevitably, he gave into those thoughts. 

Which is how he found himself here, once again, sitting on the toilet seat, blade in hand, skin covered in thin red lines. A twisted sense of relief and satisfaction settling over him. 

What he didn’t account for was the door swinging open, and Freddie walking in. 

“Roger?” The singer's eyes found him, and instantly dropped down to the evidence he had no hope of hiding, his face morphing from concern to sympathy. “Oh,sweetheart.” 

Roger didn’t respond as Freddie approached him, the relief he felt from cutting was immediately replaced with a numbness the moment they had locked eyes. Now that he was caught he just felt cold inside. 

This was Rogers' pain to hold and deal with, his problem to fix. 

“Give me this darling, you don’t need it.” He says gently, pulling the razor out of Rogers fingers. Roger only notices once the metal is gone, and makes a weak whine of protest reaching to grab it again, he needs it. 

That razor was his lifeline, or deathlike, either way. 

“Hush, love, it’s over.” He reaches again, but instead of the razor, he grabs flesh, and when his brain catches up, realizes that Freddie is holding his hand. He whimpers again, and weakly fights to be let go.

“Noo,” he whines, struggling. “Need it.” 

“You most certainly do not need it, darling,” Freddie says, voice, sure and practiced, this was not the first time they’d been here, and sadly, it wouldn’t be the last. “Now stay still and let me clean you up.” 

Roger tries to protest as his wounds are cleaned and dressed, he keeps up his weak fight, because that’s who he is, stubborn to a fault. Freddie was prepared for this however, and kept control of the situation. Warm and kind and gentle, yet firm and leaving no room for argument. It was a fine line to walk, and he did with all the grace and skill of an experienced acrobat. 

Roger was helpless but to let himself be dragged out into the living room and placed on the couch. A pair of warm arms and an equally warm fluffy soft blanket envelope him. A dumb sitcom is turned on the Telly, fingers gently carding through his messy hair. 

He whimpers at the kindness, wishing he wasn’t broken, that he didn’t need to do the things he did. God, he was such a mess. 

A drop of moisture on his cheek informs him that he’s apparently crying.

“It’s alright, love, I’m here.” He feels a small kiss placed on his hair, but can’t bring himself to respond. “we’ll talk about it when you’re ready.” 

Freddie was truly the best, he always knew what Roger needed. He knew when to push, and when to back off, when to comfort and when to leave it alone. He knew when Roger was a danger to himself, and somehow always needed just what the drummer needed after. 

“Need you, Fred.” He whispers with a shaking voice. 

“You have me darling, always.” 

They will need to talk eventually, Freddie will probably insist that Roger seek out a therapist again, or that they involve the others to help keep and eye on him. And maybe that was a good idea, maybe it was necessary. 

But for now, Roger just lets himself be held.


End file.
